In this post I want to say thank you. This blog is slowly but steadily getting running and I have recieved so much, so precious support from you guys. I just wanted to say:
It helps me a lot! You guys are amazing, you are kind & supportive, you are wonderful girls and I am super grateful for having you!
I know it doesn’t mean much, but I think the feedback I get for this blog is amazing.
When I am struggling I receive support, and that means so much to me!
Stay strong everyone and never forget: to me you are wonderful! 💜❤️
On my last post someone commented that she likes to look at pictures of marylin monroe when she feels insecure about gaining weight. I liked that idea and started to google. I found it super inspirational 🙂 she did not have that “thigh gap”. You couldn’t see her chestbones all the time. And she was so beautifully shaped. 🙂
I guess all of you know the pro ana scene with their thinspos. So I want to share a few comparisions with you that I made today.
(If you get easily triggered by thin bodies please stop reading HERE)
What is more beautiful?
In my worst times I used to look at this ‘thinspiration’ so often. But to be honest, when I look at it now, it doesn’t really look desirable to me… Not at all. Yes I gained weight over the past few weeks. And you know what? I guess it made me more beautiful. My body is stronger. My mood goes up more easily. Binge cravings have reduced since my body is no longer craving for every bite of food in reach.
To make it short: I feel better.
Sure, when I look into a mirror I might hear the mean voices whisper. But when I see how my boyfriend looks at me, I know that they lie. Weight restoration is part of the process and it’s good. The body needs some reserves for “bad times”, and that’s okay.
You are beautiful! And you will be able to see that one day, believe me 🙂 We will keep going, we will be happy, we will be healthy. Remind yourself of this every day 🙂
Stay strong everyone ❤️
(Feel free to share your thoughts on this 🙂 I’d love to hear your opinion )
A couple of days ago I found this:
And it made me think.
I gained weight. And I have to tell myself every day that this is okay. Every time I think something like
“I hate my fat thighs” I have to tell myself one thing:
If I start to diet again, I WILL relapse, this is something I know for sure. And if I relapse, I will be so unhappy again, risk my friendships, relationship, my health, my happiness and my life. And I don’t want that.
I have to learn to like myself just the way I am. Because I am not worth less than anyone around it just because I gained a couple of pounds.
What do you tell yourself when you struggle with your weight and look? How do you encourage yourself to go on? I’d love to read!
What to say? Yes I’m back. Yes I’ve been struggling. But that’s it. I am back.
I heard the sentence “you have to chose recovery every single day” very often. But I never realised what meaningful sentence it is. I always gave up on recovery, as soon as I started struggling. But that’s not what it’s about.
I didn’t do that within the last two weeks. I woke up and survived. Somehow. But I didn’t live. I’ll turn 19 in 2 days and I have wasted about 6-7 years being unhappy and refusing help. This has to stop!
As soon as I have moved (in october I’ll start to study social work at university) I’ll look for medical & psychological support. I have constant physical & mental pain, so to speak. I will have to admit that I can’t make it through this alone.
This is so true somehow…
This is what I have to learn…
I am super grateful for my friends, but now as everyone moves away to an other university it’s tough…
Sorry for being childish, but I loved these pics 😉
Yup, this post is quite vague, not very emotional, not going into details and rather short. But at least I came back to my RECOVERY blog. Because I believe it will be worth it!