I want but I shouldn’t 

Right now I have the very strong urge to isolate myself. I want everybody to leave. But that’s risky. Higher frequency of negative Thoughts. Less positive things to concentrate on. I know I shouldn’t. Being with people makes it easier to distract myself… Especially being with my boyfriend. But he can’t come over much this week(end). I texted a couple of friends and asked them wether they’d like to spend an afternoon or so with me, but that won’t be enough… They don’t really know me anymore. Only while spending time with my boyfriend I can be myself. But yeah. I’ll try to distract myself from the negativity. Somehow. 2 weeks free from school now, my boyfriend has no time left and I already start to panic on the first day… I hate having too much time left 😛 sounds weird, I know but it’s a fact, staying alone at home one whole day makes me super depressed… Like today. 🙈

Hope you all had better days ❤

Katharina xx


2 thoughts on “I want but I shouldn’t 

  1. Hi love ❤ Oh I feel for ya, girl. Being alone absolutely sucks and I have to fight the urge to isolate myself too. That's still the biggest "ED-thing" I have to battle. So, I live alone in NYC. Sounds super depressing…a studio as a young twenty-something. But I actually love it. I've had to learn to adopt the policy of always saying "yes." Like whenever my friends invite me anywhere, or if there's a special event…even if it is THE LAST thing i want to do, I just have trained myself to say "yes." And seriously, that has made all the difference. Because even though, getting ready to go out, I may be dreading it…once I get there and are surrounded by people who care about me and am having fun…and drinking lol…I end up being SO GLAD that I went out and didn't isolate myself. Sometimes, yes, I need alone time. Love is all about balance. But I've learned that saying "yes" is so important to my recovery:) love you sweet girl. hang in there:) xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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